I walk into the restaurant to meet my blind date. It’s Valentine’s Day and it’s the last day I would ever want a first date to be on. But it’s too late. I sit down, and he looks better in person than in the pictures, but that’s the only highlight. It’s all downhill from here.
First, he orders food for me and orders like 10 things off the menu. It’s way too much food and clearly a weird (desperate?) attempt to impress me.
Then, I find out he’s not 32 years old, but 36?! That’s 10 years older than me.
Next, he has these mannerisms that make me irk, like when he waves at the waitress to serve us but in a very rude way. It seems so familiar yet so off putting. I can’t put my finger on it yet.
During dinner, he asks if I want some wine. I say no. He orders a bottle.
He asks if I’m looking forward to the summer. I say yes, I love going to the beach with my family and friends. I ask what he’s looking forward to. He says he wants to go on vacation with his friends, family, or “someone special” as he slowly looks up at me. (Cringe)
After dinner, he tells me he’ll be right back, runs to his car and comes back with chocolate and flowers. It’s like he was waiting to see if this date would go well or not to see if I was worth the v-day gifts. I guess I passed his test.
Exactly 3 days pass before he texts me. He clearly got dating tips from a movie, because he believes in the 3 day rule. He tells me what a great time he had meeting me and starts to send me animated emojis. Korean animated emojis. Things I’ve only seen my parents send to their friends who are 50+.
Then it hits me. He reminds me so much of my uncle. The way he talks, the way he acts, the way he does everything reminded me so much of my middle aged, Korean uncle. No thank you. Next.
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